Modern Philosphy

Descartes - I think, therefore I am
Bushcrates - I think therefour, .... um, ah, err .... I is
MSMcrates - I can lick myself, therefore I do
Republates - I won, therefore you don't count
Democrates - I lost, therefore you cheated
Chomscrates - I can not decide, therefore all things are equal
Librates - You disagree, therefore you are ignorant
Conservates -You disagree, therefore nothing should change
Moderocrates - You disagree, therefore offer an alternative
Terrocrates - You disagree, therefore I should kill you
Sheehanates - I hurt, therefore you suck
Appeasates - I can not think it, therefore it does not exist


certainly there are more.